The all about God syndrome!!!

        If you are like my "past me", then you are yet to experience your best days. You know some of us grew up to see Christianity as sooo boring and definitely something we wanted to have nothing to do with. Well I did not, I don't know about you. At this point, you could be soo satisfied with your usual everyday, normal life though sometimes it could be the other way round, if not most times. this is when you notice addictions, sorrows, disappointments, low self- esteem and every other thing you struggle with. Think about them...they make you feel horrible.
       But then, there is this one person that loves you too much even when you did not know he existed. Like your knowing even makes the difference cos' even though you know he exists, you still hang him on the shelf till probably when trouble knocks and you remember there is big and terrific God somewhere. This person is God...very indescribable I tell you..He's so big, so massive and at the same time so little that he lives inside even the tiniest baby in the world..so loving, so full of faith in you, he's got your back anythime..I really wish you desire to know this God cos' when I started, I realized that I do not even want to lose him. I love him and I want you to love him tooo.
      It all starts from you recognizing first that he is and confessing that you love him. Cos trust me, until you realize life is all about him, it will never makes sense to you; why somethings happen? how life works? When you love a being, your heart is encompassed with the very things that make that person, smiles, words, warmth..but you have to know and decide that no matter what, its going to be all about God..

Choice(2)

Our freedom lies in our refusal to be bound. God has made a provision for every void we’ve experienced and all harm we’ve survived.

Your choice!

         The past few months for me have been times that really tried all that I have ever told you on this blog. Like really! I was left with no other choice than to be strong and to keep my head up high, be really brave and at the same time let all that I was going through teach me the lessons I needed to learn.
So many times I wished someone, definitely, not me would remind me of the diamond that I am and that all I was going through was just for a moment. There were times I felt I needed to disappear or probably not exist. There was pain and a lot of regrets. I thought I was a super woman already and i din't feel such again (laughs).
I'm at the point where I tell you that I made a choice proudly. I made a choice not to allow the hurt take over me. I decided to be soo strong even though every inner part of me was weak. I choice to shine through the pain and promise myself not to make such mistakes again. I decided to apply all that my heart break thought me like Sarah Jakes said. I learnt not to use my pain as an excuse or a dysfunction.
All am saying is that there would be hurt, disappointments, pain, regrets too sometimes. But whatever you decide to do with them determines how free you become in the midst of dealing with them. Make your pain serve you not otherwise. However it turns out though is your choice...

Change from within!

You might feel at the moment that you are too broken to be fixed, too messed up to be cleaned. But I assure you that you are more beautiful still than you think! It doesn't matter whether you can see it...just believe it!

Make it real...

You cant be genuinely misunderstood or fraudulently accepted but you cannot be everything to everyone. Not everyone is going to get you, not everyone is going to understand where you're coming from or the battles you have fought on your own. The truth is that they do not even care. Learn how to be okay with that. Dont push people to care, push yourself to produce results and they will eventually. The more in love you fall with yourself and who you are, the less acceptance you need from others. Growth is a part ot life and is inevitable but never just accept someone's criticsms without filtering it through your conviction. You'll have to answer to God for the life you lived. Make it honest, genuine, compassionate and REAL.

Prayer of Grace

A role model to me, Sarah Jakes wrote this. 

Dear God,

It feels like life is constantly changing. I’m truly beginning to understand why so many cave in to the pressure of fitting in. Being different takes courage. It requires discipline. It challenges tradition. It’s much easier to blend in with all the others. It’s much safer to never try than to feel the risk of failure. I suppose that’s the beauty of falling in love with your scars. It taught me a valuable lesson. I survived. Survival makes the wise soul resilient, but the pain it requires scares too many from trying again. My life hasn’t been perfect. My past is far from it. I pray each day that my heart never loses the humility to yield to Your conviction. I ask for the strength to protect this heart from prejudice opinions. Curve my desire to be understood and instead give me the strength to love every soul You’ve created, especially my own. Erase my comfort and destroy any loyalty that doesn’t sharpen my vision. I desire nothing more than to serve my life, imperfect as it may be, for Your glory. Hasten me, challenge me, guide me, and I’ll stay close to You. If it hurts me now it’s only so You can heal me later. I’ll till the soil of my heart until it’s completely open to receive Your instruction. I have the faith to trust you and the courage to be still while You transform me.

Signed,
Student of Grace

The new path!

At this point that i am, I can tell you comfortably that you have been searching for love in the wrong places which harmed you. Of course...its alright. You know why? God made you original and you cannot keep making yourself comfortable in the background, in your pain and hurt and bitterness. The journey has not been, is not easy and I cannot guarantee you that it always will be. I can only guarantee you that you will come out of it if you want to. I want you to know that life is a series of the decisions you make and except you accept the responsibility of where you are, there wont be change. I said it earlier that God made you original, he made you perfect so there is absolutely nothing that is wrong with you. You are wrong with yourself. If you have given your personal power and will away, it is definitely time for you to take it back. Stop sharing your story  and pain because of the pity party that you want to get from those who do not mean it. Stop talking about what you dont want but what you want. Ask yourself, what are you saying? Are you saying to yourself things that you know you are right now or things you are going to be which is victorious,amazing, beautiful and not hurt, bruised, battered? What are you saying?
In life there would be moments where you feel lost but those moments are moments to grow you and the next thing you notice is the FOUND moments. There are many ways to win. You can start with getting in the driver's seat of your life and be in control. Do you need to be empowered?
Pray this along with me
"Dear Lord, i am now ready to be prepared for your very own plans of my tommorow. Strengthen me beyond my comfort zone and make me see that your love for me is unconditional and is able to turn me into anything. Amen."
What are you dealing with? You are not going through that for no just cause. I pray that you find the purpose of your situation and more importantly that you find GRACE.